Procrastinator or not, we all have moments when we delay taking action. It’s not because we’re lazy, but because fear, perfectionism, or over-analysis keep us stuck. How often do you ask yourself questions about your thought process and feelings?
If we want to continuously grow as humans, improve our lives, and contribute to our communities, we have to put up a fight against apathy and avoidance.
Dr. Matthew Lieberman pointed out, “If there’s a way to avoid exerting effort, we almost always do.”
Closing the Effort Gap
We begin to close our effort gap by:
1.) understanding and foreseeing our own bullshit, and
2.) coaching ourselves out of that bullshit.
The Risk-Avoider
I’m not much of a procrastinator, but I am drawn to comfort, stability, and predictability.. which brings a tendency to avoid new things. But then life begins to feel monotonous. I become lethargic.
When I do embrace a new challenge, I’m susceptible to anxious overthinking. I lose my presence.
So when I feel lethargy creeping in, or when pursuing something I’m unfamiliar with, I question my bullshit:
Am I rejecting this opportunity because it’s new and challenging, or because I genuinely am not interested?
What am I afraid might happen, and how would I handle it?
What energizes me that I haven’t done lately?
The Procrastinator
Let’s say you are a procrastinator. Observe your thoughts. Maybe perfectionism is what tends to inspire you to procrastinate. If so, your thoughts suggest that if you’re not positioned to do it perfectly, you shouldn’t even start.
In this case, you can ask yourself:
Am I being a procrastinator because I genuinely need more time, or because I’m afraid of not doing it perfectly?
What’s one step I can take now to break out of this procrastinator mindset and generate momentum?
The People-Pleaser
Maybe you’re not a procrastinator. But maybe a fear of conflict causes you to avoid difficult (but necessary) conversations. If so, your thoughts try to convince you that speaking up will lead to rejection, embarrassment, or making things worse—so you stay silent. Resentment builds.
In this scenario, you can ask yourself:
Am I avoiding this conversation because it truly isn’t necessary, or because I want to protect myself from discomfort?
What’s the worst-case scenario I’m envisioning, and how likely is it to happen, really?
How can I express my thoughts honestly and tactfully?
How to Stop Being a Procrastinator? (and other bullshit): Develop an Inner Coach
Maybe your bullshit is that you are a procrastinator. Or maybe you are overly risk avoidant. In any case, awareness is the first step. Knowing our tendencies, then asking questions that interrogate fear, over-analysis, avoidance, excuses, doubts, etc. is what pulls us out of autopilot. Instead, we orient towards doing what’s actually good for our lives, and by extension, our communities.
