My mind is plagued by a self doubt that persuade me to halt effort. I second-guess whether my words have value. I seek external validation before I even begin. I decide not to write. When I do start a draft, I almost don’t finish it. Once it’s finished, I almost don’t hit publish.

I imagine how bad I would feel if no one likes what I wrote, or if my words are misunderstood or harshly criticized. The desire for validation keeps me focused on approval instead of effort.

The Self Doubt Cycle That Keep Us Stuck

Us humans are beautifully unique yet reassuringly the same. I struggle immensely with the challenges raised throughout this blog.

I trap myself in cycles of hyper-analysis.
I hold myself to impossibly high standards.
I invent narratives about other people’s expectations and my inevitable shortcomings.
I allow external validation to dictate my sense of worth, instead of trusting my own perspective.
I am terrified of ridicule, judgment, and embarrassment.
External influences sway me.
I lose sight of my own perspective, camouflaging into whatever I think other people want me to be.
I say disingenuous shit to avoid difficulty and it veers me away from my values, causing more self-criticism.

When it feels like I’ve outgrown these patterns of self doubt, another disruption happens. I slip back into the cycle. Part of the problem is that the positive experiences don’t seem to trigger the same level of analysis as the slip-ups. Moments of progress aren’t always met with external praise, which makes them feel less significant. The more ideal way of being is less psychologically reinforced, and therefore less familiar. And our brains don’t dig what’s not familiar.

The Brain Seeks the Familiar, Not the Best

Without putting effort into interrogating your thought patterns, your brain will coast toward what’s familiar, not what’s best. And when external validation is the default metric for self-worth, you will continue to seek it, even when it deters you from effort and growth.

Growth never truly ends, but every cycle you break strengthens your ability to break the next. Growth is a continuous process of insight, effort, and adaptation.

You have to disrupt the cycle with deliberate, repeated action. You build a new rhythm. Your effort is the antidote to the overthinking, perfectionism, and self doubt. The shift won’t feel monumental. It looks like catching yourself mid-pattern and trying something different. Or trusting your perspective before scanning for approval. This is how you become someone who doesn’t just know better, but consistently does better.

Overcome Self Doubt by Choosing Effort Over Ego

I didn’t proceed with publishing my writing because I was free from self doubt or because it aligned to a specific goal. The contents of this blog have the potential to make life feel lighter, a little more manageable. I started appreciating how writing helps me process things. More importantly, I imagined how my writing might benefit another human. Instead of preserving my ego or striving for metrics of external validation, I committed myself to move with moral integrity. We need to unlearn that external validation, confidence, a crystal-clear strategy, and a laundry list of credentials are prerequisites for sharing our ideas. I continued pouring effort into this because that’s the choice most aligned with my values: authenticity, compassion, and growth. Which values inform your decision-making?